Don’t seek sympathy. sympathy vs empathy
Don’t seek recognition or sympathy from fellow passengers. We didn’t choose this life. We are thrown here.
We didn’t choose our parents, our nationality, our gender, or anything else. Suddenly, we wake up and find ourselves travelling on a train. Some people next to us are very loving. Some are bothering us. Some are laughing. Another train crosses us and speeds away. No two lives on this earth are the same. There is no possibility of them being the same. Some are financially strong, while others are healthy. Some are intellectually gifted. Some are beautiful. Some have beautiful hair. The contemporary society at that time calls it outstanding. I didn’t choose that. Society calls it great. This is not something they chose. They feel great about it and suffer from ego.
Some things in this society fall below that benchmark. Actually, they are not inferior, but society views them that way. Some people express sympathy, saying, “Oh, dear, you don’t have this or that.” They too suffer from self-pity and seek sympathy.These people who express sympathy slowly try to take control of your life. Some enter our lives as emotional caretakers. No one will ever say that they are going to be an emotional blackmailer.
Naturally, girls have some weaknesses. That is, they want someone to listen to their pain, listen to everything they say, and express sympathy towards them.
When they are emotional, both girls and boys share everything. They talk about their past, their parents, or secrets at work. After some time, when the friendship between them fades, the emotional blackmailer reveals their true nature. From there, they start blackmailing. How to identify these two types of people initially? Whenever you are emotional, an emotional caretaker will try to reduce your emotions, whether it’s a boy or a girl. An emotional blackmailer, on the other hand, will try to intensify your emotions. They will say things like, “Your wife is like this and that, you should do this to teach her a lesson.”
They will say, “Your mother is like that, your father is like that, your life is like this because of them,” and make you even more emotional.
What do emotional caretakers do? They understand your emotions and try to alleviate your pain.Today, they will give you advice, telling you to do the work this way, not that way. If it’s successful, they’ll say, “See, you succeeded because you listened to me.” If it fails, they’ll say, “I told you to do it this way, but you did it that way. I told you to start at 2:30, but you started the work at 2:32, that’s why you failed.” They will gaslight you in this way, making you feel worthless and always dull. Even mothers, fathers, and teachers can subject you to gaslighting. This control arises because you seek sympathy. Slowly, your psychological life falls into the hands of others. Therefore, do not seek sympathy.
Also, do not crave recognition. The more we crave recognition, the less likely we are to be recognized, and we may even feel more inferior. No one recognizes a person just for the sake of it. They recognize a person’s qualities only if those qualities are useful to them. If you strengthen your own qualities, those who need them will automatically recognize you. So, if you seek sympathy or recognition, your life will fall into the hands of others.
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