Accepting Oneself Honestly. How to accept yourself
Many motivational speakers often say, “Do not accept defeat. You are a powerhouse; if you set your mind to it, you will definitely achieve it.”
Those listening also begin to think, “I possess some unique talent. If I truly desire it, I can achieve this or that.” But what talent do you actually possess? You certainly didn’t descend from another planet.
Everyone possesses talent—even those working in tribal villages have talent. However, due to various forms of psychological conditioning, we develop emotional states—such as depression or lethargy—yet we continue to set lofty goals, often leading to a disconnect between our aspirations and our emotional well-being. When we fail, we refuse to acknowledge it as a personal failure; instead, we attribute it to external factors. We tell ourselves, “I didn’t fail because of my own shortcomings; I failed for other reasons.” We might blame it on the alignment of planets or stars, thinking, “The stars weren’t in my favour, and that is why I failed.” Alternatively, we might rationalise it by thinking, “Society isn’t mature enough to understand me,” or “This college, my relatives, or my friends aren’t capable of truly grasping who I am.”
The narrative persists: “Do not accept defeat. You are a truly great individual; you are failing only because of external circumstances. You possess talent—immense talent!” This line of thinking is extremely dangerous; after all, isn’t this precisely what astrology preaches as well?If you were to ask a psychologist why you failed an exam, his response would be that you failed simply because you did not write it well enough.
However, if you were to ask an astrologer the same question, what would he say? He would tell you that you studied well, but there was some planetary misalignment at play; he would advise you to wear certain coloured gemstones, assuring you that you would then achieve success.
The truth invariably wounds our ego, yet it saves our lives.
Untruth, conversely, always gratifies our ego, but it ruins our lives. “This is who I am; this is the extent of my effort; my efforts were insufficient. That is why I failed.” This is the truth.
A person who honestly accepts themselves lives in the present moment. A person who fails to accept themselves lives in the future—thinking, “I am not merely this; I am something more. I am destined for greatness, and I have not yet fully stepped into that greatness.” It is only when we honestly accept ourselves as we are that we are able to perform our work effectively.
Consider a psychologist, for instance. He can provide a meaningful answer to any question only if he remains grounded in the present moment.
How to accept yourself How to accept yourself How to accept yourself
A psychologist may have provided counselling to many highly distinguished individuals. Yet, if a simple buffalo herder were to approach him with a question, the psychologist must answer him without dwelling on his own past achievements and without passing judgement on the person before him. If, instead, he were to drift into the past or the future—thinking, “I am a great man; I have counselled eminent figures—why should I bother answering him?”—he would be unable to provide a proper response.
Therefore, to perform one’s work well, one must remain fully present in the moment. Conversely, if one remains under the delusion—thinking, “I am superior” or “I am inferior”—one will be unable to work.
