Why does a person change after achieving success?
Those who have an identity crisis,
The ultimate purpose of life is reproduction.
Whether male or female, they attract the opposite gender for mating.
Some talk about their jobs and businesses; some say they know this person and that person, that they know people in the CM and PM offices. They tell the female that they are in a better position than others.
They tell the female that they can provide more security than others. Because the female desires security among human beings.
Men try to attract women by saying they can provide security through such things. Women also do the same. “Look how good a girl I am; I am very fit, fair, and submissive. So you should be attracted to me and give me protection,” they ask. The boy doesn’t know, and the girl doesn’t know either, but ultimately, this is what happens unconsciously. In this process, for the other person to be attracted, we need to stand out from the crowd. If you are in the crowd, you won’t be noticed. To stand out from the crowd, one needs an identity. That’s why we talked about this in parenting as well. In the teenage years, identity vs. role confusion begins. Why in the teenage years? Because the influence of hormones is very strong then. It is during this time that they seek identity from the other person.People work jobs to buy double-bedroom or triple-bedroom flats, buy cars, and gain an identity of being financially rich. Why does that girl wear gold jewellery, and that boy buy a car? It’s to gain an identity through these things. There is intense competition everywhere in attracting others.
And why do married people seek identity? For their children, or for extramarital affairs.
First are the physiological needs: food, water, sanitation, sex, etc. For those whose basic needs are satisfied, there are security needs. A person who doesn’t have food won’t care whether they have good clothes or not. After these basic needs are met, come security needs: a house and a car. After these are met, comes love and affection. Someone should be there for me. Someone should be there to share all my sorrows and joys. After that come the esteem needs. Everyone should recognise me; I am great.
Whenever we are successful, everyone comes and praises us. A boy achieved success; he got a job. Everyone around him is praising him. He gained a sense of assurance. So immediately, his behaviour changes to one of arrogance. This happens to those who haven’t reached self-actualisation. For those who have achieved self-actualisation, there is no success or failure. But for those who are focused on success and failure, their body language changes as soon as they achieve success. Confidence comes; that’s different.
What does this success do for people with anxiety and inferiority complexes? It normalises their behaviour. What happens to some people is that when those who lack discretion experience sudden success, especially if it’s the first time in their generation—meaning no one in their family has had a graduation or a job before—their body language changes.
What we need to understand here is that success without discretion leads to negativity in a person’s behaviour, while success with discretion develops courage in that person’s behaviour.
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