The Psychological Analysis of Anger How to control anger scientifically
If you direct your anger at someone—rather than at the actual source of the issue—they will likely retaliate and unleash their own fury upon you. This does not imply that you should merely suppress your anger; rather, you should strive to reach a state where anger does not arise within you at all.
If someone strikes you and you strike them back, two wrongs have been committed. If someone behaves unethically toward you and you respond with unethical behaviour of your own, two wrongs have occurred; neither action is justifiable.
If someone, in a fit of anger, verbally abuses you, and you respond by abusing them back, that is not a righteous act. Both actions constitute a mistake.
The work we need to undertake here is not on the anger itself, but on the underlying cause of that anger. You harbour a specific attitude: the expectation that those around you must behave in a “correct” manner. If they fail to behave in that way, you become angry. However, how they choose to behave is their prerogative—it is their right and their choice. Anger arises within you precisely when you insist that they must behave in a specific, predetermined way. Yet, such control lies beyond our sphere of influence. In this society, regardless of whom you interact with, every transaction constitutes a psychological war. And in this war, whoever allows themselves to become emotional is the one who loses.
If we outwardly express our emotions toward others, it creates social complications for us. Conversely, if we merely suppress those emotions, our health suffers, and we end up enduring physical and mental distress.Now, what some people tend to do is express their anger whenever they feel it. Instead of doing that, if we can reach a state where anger simply does not arise within us, then no problems would exist. Society is just the way it is; everyone’s context and circumstances differ. A person’s life is their own business—their own choice. If you like a situation, you should continue with it; otherwise, you shouldn’t.
Consider the story of a young man who went to college to pursue his studies. While there, he was playing in a cricket tournament. An altercation broke out between him and some lecturers. The argument escalated, eventually reaching the principal’s office, and resulted in his suspension. When he sought counselling from a psychologist, he was given this advice: “You went to college solely to study, not to change the people there. Your objective is simply to attend college and acquire an education—it is not to reform the people around you.”
If everyone there behaves correctly, that is wonderful; if not, your only alternative is to drop out and leave—there is no other way. However, we have neither the responsibility nor the need to try to teach everyone there a lesson. If you attempt to do so, you will find that society as a whole operates in much the same way; they will not change, and you will merely end up wasting your own life.
Anger can be alleviated only by systematically and methodically adjusting our own attitude.
How to control anger scientifically How to control anger scientifically How to control anger scientifically
